THE SECRET TO LIFELONG WEIGHT LOSS REVEALED!

Jesse Schmidt • April 2, 2020
A man , a woman and a man without a shirt are posing for a picture.

Here at T.N.T. We have discovered the secret that will permanently allow almost instantaneous weight loss and cure Type two Diabetes. If you had made this incredible discovery, wouldn't you want to share it? Well if you haven't figured it out yet, that's what we do here at T.N.T.. We give away the best information in the world...FOR FREE! I know after just a couple sentences you are already dying to know the secret formula to lifelong weight loss.

A green table topped with plates of food and the words `` low carb ''.

You've heard about low-carb, and no carb diets. You've heard about the miracles of intermittent fasting. Well those are just tiny insignificant steps towards the ultimate cure...The answer to this worldwide dilemma of obesity, type two diabetes, metabolic syndrome and to other food-related diseases: STOP EATING!!

There is a red circle with a cross through it that says no bread.

Yes, you read that last sentence correctly. It's not a typo. Just don't eat.

A child is refusing to eat a sandwich on a table.

With training, practice, dedication, and extreme discipline a person can give up food altogether and live purely off of air and water. To achieve the benefits of this style of living you need to progress through six distinct stages:

  1. Become a vegetarian. (two weeks)

  2. Become a vegan. (two weeks)

  3. Eat only completely raw foods. (two weeks)

  4. Eat only fruits. (two weeks)

  5. Drink only liquids derived from Fruits and vegetables. (two weeks)

  6. Finally you replace juice and veggie liquids with water for all of your nourishment. I know what you're thinking right now...”Can it really be this easy?”. The short answer is YES.

Now I did tell you that we were providing this information for free (Which I have above).

But just in case you feel like it' may prove more challenging then it seems, we here at T.N.T. Are here to support you. We have created a one-time only retreat* to beautiful down-town Oakland California. All of the retreat-goers must commit to the six stage process outlined above. If you intend to complete the suggested program we suggest the following preparatory phase: no food or water for three days, and only juice for another four. The “BODY RECOMP Process”, as we have coined it, is in very high demand. Our team is offering this amazing, life altering service (priced at just $1,080 per person) with a fourteen people, cap. Sign up today and don't miss out on the opportunity of a lifetime.

A man and a woman are having a video call on a laptop and a cell phone.

*Due to COVID – 19 all “Retreats” will be held via ZOOM online meetings. We will show a picture of what downtown Oakland looks like so you feel like you are actually there.

An aerial view of a city with a lake in the middle
A hand is reaching for a glass of water on the floor.

CAUTION: Going without water is something that most doctors consider dangerous, but for those genuinely seeking a cure to their body composition challenges, this “initiation” fast is essential to beginning a life where food is optional.

A first aid sign with a red cross on a white background.

ATTENTION: There will be no doctors present at the retreat, and the only thing remotely resembling medical oversight will be an image of a white box with a red cross called a first-aid kit.

TAKUS's NOTE: APRIL FOOLS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A black and white drawing of a revolver on a blue background.

P.S. DON’T DO THIS IT’S A JOKE PEOPLE!!

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